The Choices we Make
by Burning Truth
Summary: Xander makes a choice that will change everything. Angst and slight fluff rolled into one.


The Choices We make

By: Burning Truth

Summary: AU season 6. Slightly cannon. Xander makes a choice for the better of the world.

Xander stared at Warren's inside out body. He felt like throwing up. He might have deserved to die, but not like this. Xander let Buffy go after willow. He told her he'd catch up to her. He sat down. He took a deep breath.

And he cried.

For Tara...

For willow...

And even for Warren.

He had loved Tara. Sure it wasn't the 'Hey-I'm madly-in-love-with-you-so-lets-get-married-so-I-can-ditch-you-at-the-altar' Kind of love, but he loved the shy blonde. She never treated him like a nuisance. Sure, none of the scoobies hated him, they all loved him as much as one could love a friend (except for Spike but he didn't count). But he could tell. They all had their own little way of showing their annoyance with him.

Giles took his glasses and rested them atop his head.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

Willow quietly sighed.

ect...

But not Tara. She had never been annoyed with him. He had actually talked to her in private a couple of times. Despite hr shy outside her and Xander had some common stuff. They came from troubled house holds. Between them both they knew everything about Willow (or at least close to it), and most importantly their favorite cartoon was Willy Coyote and The Roadrunner. 

Willow.

He couldn't believed what she had become. Tara the only thing that kept her from corruption had died. Now she had gone kill happy. What happened to the innocent girl he knew and loved?

And then there was Warren.

He just felt bad for the stupid prick. As he had mentioned before, no one deserved to die like that.

He wanted to ask himself why. But he knew. When they brought Buffy back, the balance, it had to be restored. How? Kill off one of those who had brought Buffy back.

Xander wasn't as naive as everyone thought. He had read the book with the spell. In it were all sorts of different spells. Some for resurrection. He had looked those over. The one Willow chose was the only one that didn't require a human sacrifice. He had kept the book. Willow either hadn't minded or hadn't noticed.

Then Willow came into the magic box one that day with the "wine of the mother" It was pretty suspicious. When Xander had gotten home he checked the book. In the ingredients it said _"Vino de Madre"_ or "Wine of the Mother" Then it told how to get it. Xander had read it. It was a doe's blood. "Wine of the Mother" was doe's blood. Then it all clicked in Xander's head.

Balance.

To bring the person back the spell needed he death of another. Xander had kept his mouth shut. He was probably wrong. And he thought so. Until Tara died that is.

Xander stood abruptly. He wiped his eyes.

"I wish I could change it." He said to no on in particular.

"I wish I could change it." He said louder this time.

"I wish I could change it." He yelled at the sky. Suddenly a brilliant light flashed. And he was surrounded by it. There was nothing except light. That is until a hooded figure came up to him.

'You want to change it?' It asked.

"Y-Yes." Xander stammered.

'Fine. It-'

"Wait!" Xander interrupted. "What's going on?"

'When one with a soul as pure as yours, makes a wish, out of complete selflessness and love with all their being, the powers grant it.' The figure replied.

"So...you're going to change it? Make Tara alive again?" Xander asked.

'No. You asked to change it yourself. Your wish has been made and it can't be changed. I will send you back, in time. Far enough for you to change it. The rest lies up to you. But be careful. One chance is all you get.' 

Xander blinked. He was at the cementery. Holding a candle. Sitting in the circle while Willow chanted. Xander knew what he had to do. Suddenly the biker demons burst through. Xander shooed the girls away. But Willow wouldn't move. One of the bikers almost ran Willow over. That made her budge. Xander took willow and ran. After they were a few yards away Xander turned to willow.

"I'll distract them."

"Xander don't! It's suicide." Xander turned to her.

"Please, don't bring me back..." He said a tear rolling down his cheek. He then burst into a run after pushing Willow away.

"Hey! Biker trash! Come and get me!" Xander said bursting off away from the demons. But it was inevitable. The leader caught up to him, blades swishing out his hands...and right into him.

"NOOOOOOOO! XANDER!" He heard Willow shriek. Then everything turned black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Was it worth it?' Xander asked the powers.

'See for yourself.' Xander was told. He looked into the reflecting pool. There he saw the incident that had changed all their lives. 

Warren ran into the back yard. Gun in hand. He shot at Buffy who was alone. Hitting her as it had the last time. The other bullet. The one that was supposed to kill Tara. Xander saw it miss Tara and willow completely. They looked out the window and saw Buffy on the ground. They quickly called 911. Xander stepped away. Brimming with joy.

'So everything will be all right? Tara won't die and Willow won't go all crazy witch?'

'Maybe. The waters show what is most likely not what is sure to happen. For even though it's hard to change destiny, it is possible.' Xander looked broken hearted. What if everything...all he had gone through had been in vain? What if he had just caused something that could lead to a greater catastrophe? Suddenly Xander felt he was falling. He was falling from heaven! Xander panicked. But he heard the powers.

'Fear not. For your selfless wish and sacrifice you shall live with them. Not as a human or as a ghost, but as their angel to protect them.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander watched the scene fold out in front of him with what under other circumstances might have been morbid glee. Buffy had been shot. But not life threateningly and Tara wasn't hurt. He watched the scene from the reflecting pool happen. His death had not been in vain. He had died but the others were fine. Sure they still grieved for it was inevitable, but for the most part they had learned to deal and cope. After a while they had realized why he had done what he had done. They knew he had died to save all of them. How they really didn't know. But he had. Suddenly he felt himself being whisked back up. He panicked. He was being removed as their guardian angel.

'You must really stop jumping to conclusions.' He heard the powers say. They signaled to the reflecting pool.

'You stopped the start of what you would have stopped from happening.' they said, the pools showing Xander himself stopping Willow from destroying the world.

'You could have been a hero.'

'Well now they don't need a hero.' The powers were pleased.


End file.
